"Cortez"

This was straight-up, a gag gift for my mother and requires a brief history.

My grandparents (on my mother's side) have a 3-4' tall full body statue of Cortez at the end of the hallway in their basement.  I don't remember where they got it or why they display it (valid questions for anyone reading this post), but I do know it scared the ba-jeebers out of me, my siblings and our cousins growing up.  I remember the mental battle I would have waking up in the middle of the night, trying to figure out how I would get to the bathroom at the end of the hall without him getting me first.  I would finally do a quick dash down the hall, jump into the bathroom and shut the door.  Before I opened the bathroom door again to leave, I would turn off the light and wait for my eyes to readjust to the dark...cause heaven knows Cortez would have had me for sure if I had opened that door and wasn't able to see him.  It wasn't until we were older that all of the grandkids have since admitted to being scared out of our minds...our parent's and grandparents were completely oblivious.

I made this little Cortez bust statue for my mother just prior to my brother and sister-in-law having their first child...and thus making my mother a grandmother for the first time.  It seemed weird to us all that she was going to be a grandma, so I gave her this gag gift with a note that said something to the effect of, "Now you are ready to be a grandma."  (Note: None of her 6 grandkids are afraid of this version of Cortez...as far as we know.)